Things

Why did I feel that I needed to acquire things? After decades of acquiring, I have come to realize that they don't provide the joy long-term that they provided on acquiring them. The idea that one "needs" something, and then the hunting for it; or the browsing and then seeing something and thinking one "needs" it is the exciting part. Then comes the caretaking part that we tend to forget when acquiring the object that we thought we really needed. In making many moves, I found that that object that was so important can be very tiring when one considers the need to wrap and pack it, then carry it to new "digs", then unwrapping and making room for it. Why do I continue to do it? I have heard the philosophy that acquiring is just the attempt to fill up the empty hole inside oneself. Perhaps this can apply to me. I always remember my mother working until I became a teenager. I was taken care of by various relatives, and for a time we lived next door to my grandmother. All I had to do when I came home from school was to check in and then I was alone until my mom got home from work. There were no kids around my house so I would basically stay in the house and watch TV when all that was on was mostly soap operas and old movies, all in black and white. I didn't relate well to other people and tended to stay to myself, especially since I was an only child. When I should have been looking outside myself, relating to people, I tended to be introspective. I guess "myself" couldn't provide the happiness I was seeking, so I looked to things. Things, however, can't love you back.
Time for a change.