Pre-dementia thoughts

I applaud all the prolific bloggers out in the blogosphere. I was hesitant to even start, mostly because I like to keep all thoughts inside, where they are safe from ridicule, criticism, or even knowledge that I have them. But I find that sometimes, they just need to come out. Kind of like my firstborn son, who needed to get his music out. It was just filling up his brain and I think it kind of hurt until he got it out, so it could fill up again. So many papers, lots of little papers, filled with notes and words. He would spit them out onto paper and most of the time, the papers would then litter up his room, covering the floor, maybe to make up for the nonexistent carpet.

My mother is better now. She is recuperating and the doctor said it could take 3-6 months until she feels "normal". I wish that was the story of my life. I don't quite know, though, if there is a "normal" for me. It seems as though I am always going through something, changing, hopefully learning my lessons like I am supposed to be. Most of the time I don't learn. I just keep repeating mistakes over and over, just with minor variances.

Okay, I think I have regurgitated enough for now. I'm feeling bored with writing. So much for being a great writer. At this point, I see too many bright colors to distract me from such a discipline as writing. However, a thought just occurred to me. Instead of just letting things come out in writing, one could actually organize it. What a concept! Just like goals and plans, which I have never successfully done. I take that back. When looking over my old papers, I occasionally find goals that I have made and some of them have actually come to pass. So, O.K., I won't be so hard on myself. Why does this ************* cursor continually blink?!