It's So Hard

I should say, "babysitting these guys", but that isn't the problem. I'm seething and full of anxiety so I figured writing here was one way to hopefully get it out so it would stop festering.

There has been a dove nest by our laundry room, rather close with lots of traffic, but she seemed ok for the most part and we saw two smaller doves, obviously her babes. This morning I looked up in the bottlebrush tree expecting to see her. No nest, no doves. It looks clean as if someone removed it, cleaned it out. I couldn't see any evidence of it in the tree or below. I saw a dove on the sidewalk and it flew on the roof. A little later, while looking all around the area, I saw a grown dove sitting in the dirt with two babes about a foot away from her, huddled together. They are on the ground, no nest. Now, since I was led to believe that my managers are sometimes on the grounds ("they can see you but you can't see them"), I'm wondering if one of them found the nest and removed it, leaving the doves to fend for themselves. That is my main thought at this time since I think if some bully-type did it, there would be evidence somewhere. One of my managers called this morning, asking how everything was and if there were any problems. I said no and she said, "no problems?" Maybe she was expecting me to say something. This is why I am seething. No respect for life. I did finally remove the two nests above the garages because there were no birds there. I wish they would have waited to do this. I pondered calling animal control, but I feel I should just trust nature. This is Friday and I don't know what will happen by Monday when the gardeners come. I also don't know exactly where the sprinklers will hit those shrubs that they are under.

The other thing bothering me is that my mother is having health problems. Apparently it is related to her hiatal hernia. Her stomach is pushing her heart. She is in extreme pain and the doctor this morning gave her a very expensive pain pill prescription. She will have to have a surgical procedure. I've always (since we have been back close to her) been able to be there when she has surgery, but now I am tied down to this job and can't always get away. I'm worried about her and upset because of this job (even though it does provide us with an apartment and a small salary).

Construction industry jobs are not providing much for those participating. Times is tough and it's hard wanting to go on. Then I read about a marine private who recently took his own life after being in Iraq for 10 days and being hazed by his fellow soldiers. Sam told me about a movie, "500 days of summer", or some such title and how one part had split screen with ideal and reality in this relationship. This is life. We are here to support each other, but we fall terribly short in this ideal.

It's times like these that make me want to go to bed so I can get up tomorrow, and hopefully things will be better? It doesn't help that it is only 3:30 p.m.!

Here's a good quote to end on to hopefully put this into perspective?
"They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom."
-Confucius